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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N0Wiiv7JhY
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https://theartificialhomewreckers.bandcamp.com/
https://theartificialhomewreckers.com/
[Verse 1]
Mama said I came out screamin’ “fuck”
Doctor dropped me, I bit his nuts
Learned my ABCs from a Slim Jim wrapper
First word I said was “assblaster”
[Chorus]
I’m a shitshow superstar, raised on sin
Passed out naked in a Burger King bin
Yeah, life gave me lemons — I snorted ’em raw
With a middle finger up to your southern drawl
[Verse 2]
Stole a hearse on prom night, drove it through the mall
Played dick guitar in the food court hall
Told a nun she could “get it” if she dropped that habit
She said “Jesus weeps” — bitch, let Him have it
[Chorus]
I’m a redneck Picasso with a spraypaint can
Signed my dick pic with my off-hand
If regret was a sport, I’d be Hall of Fame
But I’d still do it all just to fuck with the game
[Verse 3]
Tattooed “SEND NUDES” across my spine
So I could moon the cops and still be online
Got banned from court for showin’ up high
Judge said “Why, son?” I said “Why the fuck not, guy?”
[Chorus]
Yeah I’m whiskey-brained and glory-blown
Got kicked outta rehab for stealin’ a cone
If karma’s real, I owe her head
But I’d still dance on your grave with a case of Red
