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[Verse 1]
I rolled into town with a plan and a smile,
Had a suitcase of booze, thought I’d stay for a while.
Bartender said, “Boy, you got money to spend?”
I said, “Nah, but I got tequila and a thirst for sin.”
Pulled out that case like a magician’s trick,
Cracked a cold one open, said, “Let’s get lit!”
[Chorus]
I got a suitcase full of drinks and a case of the drunks,
Some whiskey for my wisdom, some beer for my funk.
If trouble comes knockin’, well, hell, let it in,
‘Cause bad decisions always start with a grin.
I don’t need no money, don’t need no luck,
Just a suitcase full of drinks and a case of the drunks!
[Verse 2]
Some guy in the corner said, “Boy, you ain’t right,”
I said, “Damn straight, buddy, now pass me some ice.”
We played poker on a barrel, bet a shot on each hand,
Then a fight broke out when I took his last grand.
The sheriff walked in, looked me dead in the eyes,
Said, “Son, you again? Well, I ain’t surprised.”
[Chorus]
I got a suitcase full of drinks and a case of the drunks,
Got chased outta Reno ridin’ shotgun in a trunk.
If you see me roll in, better lock up your stash,
‘Cause I’ll drink what you got and I won’t even ask.
I don’t need no manners, don’t need no luck,
Just a suitcase full of drinks and a case of the drunks!
[Verse 3]
Now my liver’s on strike, my wallet’s a ghost,
My ex sent a text sayin’, “Damn, you’re the most.”
I said, “Baby, I love you, but I’m married to gin,”
And she blocked my number before I could sin.
Woke up in a ditch, found my pants in a tree,
A raccoon had my wallet and was laughin’ at me.
[Chorus]
I got a suitcase full of drinks and a case of the drunks,
I should call it a night, but that just ain’t fun.
Got beer in my pocket and a flask in my boot,
If there’s a bad idea, you know I’ll salute.
I don’t need no money, don’t need no luck,
Just a suitcase full of drinks and a case of the drunks!
